Destroying America one troop at a time!

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"Before I met John Sidney McCain, I thought I was at the end of my rope. Now I know I'm at the end of my rope!"
-Justin P, Fla

"If you thought murdering puppies was fun before, with this president you'll love it!"
-Wally J, Md

"I can't wait until John Sidney McCain is our new president. I was getting bored of democracy."
-K Swanson, Pa

"Few people conjure such images of dispare and hopelessness as this fine gentleman."
-R Redwood, Ca

"Who else could give America that last little push towards becoming an empire than our boy, McCain? No one, that's who"
-Ness E, Tn

"Nothing will improve Abu Graihb's Torture policy like a POW president"
-M Mann, Tn

Church
America is a country of Christians. Electing me president will insure that I will wage war against enemies of the church not only in Iraq, but in our homeland as well. I will not rest until we have purified our boarders.

Death Penalty
I've been told as many as 52% of people on death row have been pardoned because DNA proved their innocence. But if they are in jail it means they committed a crime. My administration will increase the speed at which we kill people, so they don't have a chance to jump through the innocence-loophole.

Gay Marriage
I think it is safe to say that nobody here enjoys the idea of two ladies being sexual with each other. As a republican, the thought repulses me. Citizens are not intelligent enough to make their own moral decisions, and should rely on their government to tell them what to believe. I will make sure the government tells its people that gay marriage is bad. With force if necessary.

Immigration
Allowing immigrants into our country is wrong. I do not enjoy seeing Mexicans, native-Americans, Africans, or anyone else come into our country that wasn't here to begin with.

Iraq
Let's face it, troops are expendable. A vote for me will insure that your fathers, brothers, and sons, will be on the front lines, dying for Iraqi's freedoms. I firmly believe we should not be hunting terrorists, and that we should stay in Iraq, waging the war against Muslims.

Iran
Iran is another country that has oil that we should bomb.

Military
Iraq needs you. Donate your children today.

Propaganda
Lies are important to pacify citizens. Office of Strategic Influence.com

Privacy
Americans need to realize that when the government watches them, it is for their own safety. My administration vows to listen to every phone conversation, read every email, and keep files on every American citizen. We will save all this information and allow it to be reviewed by thousands of government officials. Surrendering privacy is the first line of defense against terrorism. We will also forward inappropriate e-mails and pictures your girlfriend/wife/spouse sends you to the public obscenities board.

Taxes
Americans need less taxes! To accomplish this, I will cut the military budget, cut education, cut transportation, cut police funding, and cut wages, so that we can afford a few dollar tax break. While Democrats say that raising our taxes by a penny would give bullet proof vests to the troops, fix our schools, and make our streets safer, I firmly believe taxes are un-American!

Terrorism
I refuse to fight terrorism until every last Muslim in Iraq is killed. Only after Iraq turns white will I withdrawal from Iraq and fight terrorists.

Abortion
It's a sad but true fact that women do not have the intellectual capacity to make their own moral decisions. For this reason, it is important for the government to tell them how they should treat their bodies. I want to make abortions illegal. Choice is not an American ideal.

Economy
Most Americans do not know what inflation is. Because of this, I will lower taxes and print more money. Americans will feel like they have more money even if their dollar lowers in value. They will then spend more and our economy will do better.

Education
The worse our education is, the better chances I have to get elected. Source. For this reason, I will cut all school funding!

Spread the word: Stumble Digg Del.ici.ous

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